Trust Is A Must

Trust. It is the name of a clubbish bar in Lexington. I was last there dressed as a bunny. I attempted to kiss a bar patron who had a girlfriend. (Bun Bun had game, something about the ears I think.) I didn’t know he was attached, and I was oh so bold after a few too many cocktails. Thankfully his loyalty remained within the stupors of drunkeness. After all some people are totally and completely trustworthy— the idea that makes all relationships go round. Friendships, romantic flings, even family dynamics all center around trust. To our very core, we grasp the concept that we must believe another until we are given a reason not to.  

For years we have been taught to be trusting, but also warned against the dangers of being too trusting. Love gives us blinders and an innate sense to believe what others tell us. However, there are times when our BULLSHIT METERS go off and instead of noting it we turn down the volume. I’m sure Snow White was really kicking herself after she took an apple from that haggard ass witch. The story would have made much more sense if she had thrown a rager the night before. Lets say she took a few too many Fireball shots with her homeboy dwarfs. Dopey probably brought out some black and milds. Grumpy may have even cracked a smile after a couple brewskis. She wakes up, hungover as hell and still a little drunk. She is really questioning her life and why she has agreed to continuously clean up after seven men. In her deep contemplation she answers the door and an old lady appears. Snow is still out of it so she doesn’t question the apple in front of her. She just takes it because she needs to replenish (and gatorade was not yet a thing.) This version I could understand. Sadly this is not the case. She is sober and stupid and takes an apple from someone she doesn’t know which leaves her in a coma. 

From young ages we watch film after film where princess meets prince, true love blossoms, and it is all based on immediate trust. Disney is the trust culprit. Ariel gives up her voice and physically alters herself to be with a guy she hasn’t even had a conversation with! (I can’t totally hate on this because if Jake Gyllenhaal was a merman I would be all: SIGN ME UP FOR SOME GILLS!) Jasmine goes off on a carpet ride with Aladdin, whom she's just met. Belle makes a deal to live with an oversized dog. Pocahontas’ dad actually gets props because he seems to be the only character with common sense. He says “hey, maybe don’t go hang out with the pale guy who just arrived already trying to run shit on our lands.” The chief was right to be weary. And yes hindsight is 20/20, and yes it is still okay to be trusting, (and yes I started a sentence with and so get over it.) We can still believe in goodness. I’m just saying if something smells fishy, throw it back in the water. 

Rapunzel also gets a shout out. (Notice I’m dressed as her in the post photo? I’m not biased or anything.) Rapunzel starts to question many of her own life norms. She is in a tower, but why? She is told it is for her protection, but from what? She starts to realize that maybe not everything her mother tells her is adding up. It is devastating to find out that someone we love has lied to us. A family member, a friend, a significant other- finding out that they have forged the truth is earth shattering. Trust is often so easily gained, but when it is broken it there is no easy remedy

What does one do when trust is broken? A wise woman once instructed us to “dig a key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carve your name into his leather seat, take a Louisville slugger to both headlights, and slash a hole through all four tires.” I would like to add that if you take this route be sure to have an alibi and plausible deniability.

Forgiveness is also key. (If you’ve watched even one Tyler Perry movie you will know this to be true.) Forgive them if not only for your own sanity. It doesn’t mean things have to go back to the way they were. You don’t even have to keep that person in your life. Surround yourself with positivity! Surround yourself with friends who believe you can get a celebrity to come to Alumni Formal as your date. (The previous statement really just refers to me, but if the shoe fits by all means wear it!) People make mistakes. Forgive those and hand out deserved second chances. Forgive, but don’t be naive. There will be people in life for which you used to have mad love, and now you got bad blood. It is ok to forgive and then live. Continue on living without those kinds of people. Don’t keep hatred in your heart for them. Don’t keep any kind of space for them. Leave it blank. Open that vacancy to someone else worth your trust.

To my lovers and my haters:

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