Ever Since I Can Remember I've Been Poppin' My Collar{bone}

Photo from "Can't Hold Us Down" music video.
Pretend you’ve just got on a roller coaster. Strap yourself in. Keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times. Buckle up. The photo will be taken right before the first loop so smile pretty because I’m giving you a heads up. Take off in 3, 2, 1….

HOPE YOU’RE READY because you just agreed to the RANT RIDE. I usually sound off in person because then I can use tone, a lot of hand motions, and inflection. I can move my head in a sassy fashion and really express my thoughts on the matter. Today though I am keeping my fingers moving aggressively as I give my two sense on whats wrong with the world. 
If you agree with me at any time— feel free to shout an AMEN at your phone or computer screen. If you disagree with me — I have my hater blockers on so I don’t care. 

And so it begins…

One thing that I really hate is people giving my state a bad name. If you are from Kentucky, I claim you. It doesn’t mean we are besties, but it does mean that other people will throw us in the same category. KENTUCKIANS — I feel responsible for you. Diane Sawyer — from Kentucky. I am down with letting people know we are from the Bluegrass State. I used to claim Tom Cruise, before the aliens got to him, and now I like to mention that he only briefly called KY home. 

ANYWHO, currently Joe from The Bachelor and now Bachelor In Paradise is the villain of reality television. WHY JOE?! I am angry he makes us look bad. Southern Charm exists and he is using it negatively, SHAME ON YOU JOE.  

On top of that, a local Kentucky High School has been in the news for dress code drama and here is where I get REAL PIZZZZZED. People already think we make out with our cousins on the reg, we don't need any more bad publicity. SHAKING MY DAMN HEAD. 

{If you have not yet read the story I will quickly sum it up: A high school young lady was recently sent to the principal's office and told to call her mom to bring a change of clothes. She broke the dress code which stated exposing one's collarbone was not acceptable. The young woman's mother left work to bring her daughter a scarf to cover what very little skin was showing. The student had on a top, a cardigan, and a pair of denim jeans. After putting the scarf on, the administration was still not sold on her collarbone coverage. Her mama was fed up, took to social media and it made national news within a day.}

PS: The attire of the female students was strictly outlined within the dress code as not to distract the male students. 

This debacle gets me fired up because… 

  1. Kentucky is ranked 42nd in education, clearly there are more important issues than dress code.
  2. We are teaching girls that “not distracting the boys” is more important than their time spent learning in class. 
  3. We are beginning to teach our youth the idea of slut shaming. 
  4. Yes —teenage boys are oozing with testosterone, but we need to give them some credit. I highly doubt they are going to lose it at the thought of some exposed collarbone. 
  5. Some laws are meant to be challenged

Let the last statement resonate. Non believers of the issue at hand argue that there were rules set in place that students should have to follow. Administrators can’t make exceptions for some and not others. I get that. {Insert a big HOWEVER} 

Our nation’s constitution was written to allow amendments to be added as neccesary. Our founding fathers knew that change was imminent. Had this never been the case, women would still not be allowed to vote. The issue at hand concerns the rule in place. It is ludicrous and should be altered. I agree the school is a learning environment and students should be appropriately dressed. However, when girls are made to feel inferior to boys it makes me angry. 

Being a modern woman comes with so much hypocrisy.
Be sexual, but not a slut
Be curvy, but not too thick.
Be innocent, but experienced

We are literally expected to be a lady in the street, but a freak in the sheets. 

You may remember a golden tune by Christina Aguilera and Lil Kim — “Can’t Hold Us Down.”
Lil Kim promised the tables were about to turn. She put her fame on it. 
Looks like she spoke too soon, because things are still the same and she is no longer as relevant. Maybe she should have put Christina’s fame on it instead. 


Lil Kim and Christina got one thing right — no one is going to hold me down. I’m going to continue flaunting my collarbone and helping other women feel fabulous. We are a strong people. If “childbirth” doesn’t prove that I don’t know what can. 
{Not that I have gone through it but I had a kidney stone in high school which I hear is similar.} 

To my lovers and my haters:
Laters,