Let Freedom Ring

This photo describes what happens when you call dibs on BDR and someone else was thinking she would take him too...
I am ALL about some girl power and boy have I felt it this past Sunday. The women’s national soccer team brought home the WORLD CUP. They DOMINATED. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing. These women are gritty— you could feel their want to win through the television screen. I could not have been prouder to be from this country. I could not have been more excited to be a WOMAN in this country. Every day women have the chance to do more, be more — and I am a BIG fan of this. Hell, I’m the conductor of the damn “I am woman hear me roar” train. 

I love the things I get away with as a woman. Like reading Fifty Shades of Grey. {Insert props to the book that gave my blog its title} If the greater population of men read a kinky book about domination — women folk would throw some major shade. BUT women can read about CG and its NBD. We can take notes and maybe try out some of the things that tickle our fancy. HERE’S YOUR ONE CHANCE FANCY DON’T LET ME DOWN— if ya know what I mean.

Most importantly, as a woman in America — it is ok to attend the premier of MAGIC MIKE. Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but because I saw this I have been changed for good. Before seeing the film, I was curious as to why it wasn’t simply Magic Mike 2. Instead it went for that - Magic Mike XXL vibe. Why the XXL? After leaving the theater I no longer needed an explanation. The stripping is sexier, the dancing raunchier, the comedy funnier. I’M STARTING TO DROOL JUST TYPING. And don’t forget, one of the characters is  named Big Dick Richie. The movie could realistically just be describing BDR! 

Being a woman, free to make decisions - I decided to spend Independence Day with a late night second screening of the magical experience. THIS FILM BROUGHT THE ONLY FIREWORKS I NEEDED. I wish I had a bootleg copy. Seeing it for the second time, I was able to know what parts needed most of my attention. I was also able to recognize the individuality of each stripper. Each character had a beautiful solo strip that reflected his hobbies or desires and based on the kind of woman you are — I can tell which you would be into throwing dollazzzzz at in da club. 

Remember that game Dream Date, enjoy my version — Dream Stripper..

You enjoy 80’s movies. Your top hunks are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone — in their prime. You are a beauty and you desire a beast to unleash your wild side. You don’t need someone with a lot of chit chat, but they need to be long, strong, and down to get the friction on. Your dream stripper is… TARZAN. 

You’re a hippie. You are into music festivals and finding tunes before they become popular. You’re into art and value beauty. You have the cutest pictures on instagram but sometimes people are left wondering if you are really into the self timer on your phone, or if you actually make people take them. Your dream stripper is that hunk of picture perfect burning love…KEN. 

You love being in the kitchen. You want to whip up new concoctions all the time. Dessert? Yes please! You’re not afraid to try new flavors — you love a little spice. You are begging someone to take you to the candy shop! Your dream stripper is the latin lover everyone knows from CSI Miami… TITO. 

You desire a MAN. You are Cinderella just waiting for your prince to bring you a matching shoe so you can get out of the damn attic. You want a little bit of sweet and a lot a bit of naughty. This isn’t your first rodeo and you’re looking for a bull to RIDE, but you would also be down for it to ride you. You want someone who can preform anywhere. Fear not my dear, your dream stripper is none other than BIG DICK RICHIE. 

You are a leader. You need the leader of the pack. You want someone talented, someone who can jive and gyrate around the bedroom and YO BODY. You want someone innovative — he isn’t scared to take chances. BUT you also want someone who will let you shine when necessary. He knows when to take the back seat. He knows when to be in command. He will make you breakfast for dinner — he is that amazing. Your dream stripper is the man, the myth, the legend… MAGIC MIKE. 

As women we have been oogled and objectified for years. I have seen my share of tits in film. (Can you throw a girl a bone{r} in a movie every once in awhile?) It is our turn to stare and enjoy the bodies and movements of some of the hottest men on the planet. BDR AM I RIGHT??? If for some reason IRL you come across a MS {male stripper} and you need to ask for the special— enjoy the guide above, make your requests, and observe your rights as a WOMAN.

I leave you with this fun fact: I applied to be an extra in the movie. Sadly it didn’t work out— I was visiting a friend in Atlanta and we didn’t have time to make it to Savannah the weekend it was filming. We also had one of our best guy friends with us. I can’t say he would have been in to the film. IF ONLY HE WAS GAY. I can say with confidence that this is the biggest regret of my life. To see that XXL masterpiece live would have been LIFE ALTERING in the best way. 

To my lovers & my haters:


1 comment

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